Memories of You

Written by Pragya Thapa, 17, Nepal

My mother used to tell me tales

of all sorts-

Of vampires and fairies,

Of demons and zombies,

Oh, and of monsters;

Monsters with two heads,

Monsters with no legs,

Monsters that burned down houses

And the ones that ate children.

All these tales of monsters

And yet, she never told me about this certain monster

One that lived under the same roof as us,

One that still roams freely among us.

I was barely seven

And you were seventeen

Hands tied

Mouth shut

Your filthy lips and roaming hands all over me,

reaching spots that were entirely new to me.

I couldn’t process anything

So, I held on and begged for it to be over

All I could do was hold on and beg for it to be over.

To think that I trusted you

To think that my parents trusted you

And it hurts me that they still do,

For I haven’t told them about all that you put me through

And I’m not sure why;

maybe it’s fear

maybe it’s shame

Or maybe I still deny,

deny the fact that you assaulted me,

by pushing away these terrible flashbacks

the same way I tried pushing you off me.

“Please stop”, I screamed

over and over again

but my screams were of no use

“Please stop”, I still scream,

but it’s not you this time;

it’s the memories

it’s the flashbacks

and once again,

my screams are of no use.

Oh how much I hate it here

You make me want to disappear

Can’t put into words how much I loathe you,

And everything you put me through.

I won’t let you get away with it

Or that’s what I say to myself;

To cope with the fact that

You’ve in fact,

gotten away with everything,

With no shame

Or an ounce of regret.

Every time I see you,

I notice it

the lust in your eyes

and your heinous smile

It’s the same lust

and the exact smile

that lingered in your face;

the entire time

you had me in your clutches.

With each passing day,

I hope you die

No, not an easy death

I pray a slow, painful death for you

Only then the pain you caused me will find its end too

Only then they’ll finally fade;

My memories of you.